I miss you….

I don’t have anywhere else to to turn. So I might as well just talk to you. I miss you. Today is going to a rough day. As much as I’m trying not to cry, I feel them coming. If you were here, you’d tell me to be strong. It’ll get better. You were there for me when no one else was. I wish you were here so I could just talk and talk and talk. And keep talking until I was tired and fell asleep to mozart you always played in the house. Or go for a walk in Morningside park. I’m old enough to drink now. So maybe we could finally have a drink. No one will understand me like you did. No one. I know you’d be proud of me. You always told us we could be whatever wanted to. You took us in when no one wanted us. And kept us when the wrong people tried to take us away. Even after I went away, you still took me back like I never left. I feel so alone. Dess is getting so big. She’s getting a mind of her own and wants to explore. I wish you could see her. I know you can. My world is collapsing around me. And you’re all that I have. You’ve taught me so many words of wisdom and I’m trying to use them to stay afloat. But it’s hard. I just want to give up. Those evil thoughts are creeping back again. Im trying to fight them. But that fix is only temporary. And it leaves behind scars. I don’t want to go down that road. Why is all of this happening to me?! I wish you could say something. As they say, “show me a sign” that everything is going to be ok. 

I miss you Dad.  

    
 

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